


Origin Stories

by TuppingLiberty



Series: Organa's Organics [33]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Allusion to PTSD, M/M, Multi, OMC pov, previous suicide attempt, shifting pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 03:39:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6888430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TuppingLiberty/pseuds/TuppingLiberty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe introduces his first "foster vet" to Organa's...the place where you can find peace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“I thought you might want to get settled in, first, or we could take a tour of the farm right now.” Poe Dameron opened the unlocked door of the small cottage, and gestured for Chris to follow. “It’s a small place, I know. Hell of a lot bigger than a bunk, though, right?”

Chris nodded quietly, stepping inside the structure and breathing in the smell of fresh construction - paint and wood and glue. “That’s for sure.”

“It’s actually designed off of the farm manager’s cottage I used to live in, which is Snap and Elisa’s place now. Finn and I needed more room, but you’ve seen our place.”

Chris had done his final interview with Poe and his husband Finn in their comfortable living room. _“We just wanted to be sure it’s a good fit for you and us,_ ” Poe had explained about the whole process. It was more than a job Poe was offering, and Chris knew it. Poe was offering him a chance. That chance, though, came with some strings - like assuring Poe and Finn that he was absolutely okay with all parts of the LGBTQIA+ community as well as the myriad of racial backgrounds present on the farm.   _“Makes sense. You need to protect your own,”_ Chris had replied when they’d told him about their daughter. _“I ain’t got no problem with that. To each their own.”_ Chris had winced when his Texan drawl came out strong - it’s not like Texas was stereotyped for its tolerance - but Finn had looked reassured, and nodded at Poe.

So, after the application, pressed on him by his counselor, and the interviews, here he was. And he was skeptical, but there was also this tiny kernel of hope in his heart that this could be the key. The key to moving beyond surviving, to really living.

\---------------------------

_Poe had nothing with him except the civilian clothes on his back and his father’s beat up guitar case. Inside the case, besides the guitar, was one framed photo. They were the only things he’d elected to keep from his parent’s tiny temporary apartment in Pendleton (though he'd be grateful for the cardboard box Leia handed to him years later, collected by a neighbor. His abuela's bible had been there, and now he cherished it). He locked the place up, figuring the landlord could sell whatever he wanted in order to recoup some money. Poe was never setting foot in this place again. It's not like it was home. Nowhere was home. He tipped the cowboy hat back on his head - his buzz cut just seemed a little too obvious to him, and he didn’t want to draw questions - and walked down the road, thumb out._

_He wandered for awhile, along the I-5 corridor, staying mostly to cities, but he found he was being called to the farm, couldn’t stay away, and not long after that thought was planted, he was walking up the driveway to a surprised and happy Leia. He was passing through, he explained, and could he stay for a night? Leia had smiled at him knowingly and swept him into a hug._

_\---------------------------_

Poe had moved away from Chris, into a short hallway, and was explaining something that got lost in the sudden ringing of Chris’ right ear. Chris winced, annoyed, and moved closer. The tinnitus didn’t hurt, it just made it impossible to hear sometimes. He was partially deaf on the left, with the tinnitus in the right.  On the VA’s schedule, he’d have have his aides some time next century. His therapist had already planted the suggestion that Chris start to learn sign language, but he was resistant, used other methods to cope. “Sorry, Poe," he said, when the ringing stopped.  "I didn’t catch that.”

Poe cleared his throat, cheeks pinkening, and Chris figured he was upset at himself for forgetting about Chris’ situation. He’d noticed that often enough now. It was nicer than when people got annoyed at Chris when he couldn’t hear. “Right, sorry,” Poe said, moving subtly to Chris’ right, and repeating himself. “There’s three bedrooms back here. Eventually I’d love to have a full house, but well, starting off small seemed right. So you’re going to be our guinea pig.”

“No pressure,” Chris responded, breathing out a small laugh.

“No pressure,” Poe agreed, smiling. “Take whichever room you like, you have run of the house obviously. Personally, I like the east bedroom, it faces the morning sun and the fields. Then again, I’m a sucker for sunsets on my porch swing.” Poe’s cheeks went pink again, and he laughed a little. “Sorry, my husband will tell you I’m too cheesy.”

“It’s nice.”

“So, do you want time, or a tour?”

“Might as well get the tour. See what I’m going to be doing.”

“Initiative. I like that, Chris.” Poe placed his cowboy hat back on his head and strode for the door. Chris found his beat-up Astros cap in his knapsack and followed him out into the warm October day.

“You can use one of the farm trucks to get to appointments. You’ve got therapy this week, right?” Poe handed him a ring of keys, moving on before Chris could answer. “We don’t much lock doors around here, but everyone should have the choice if they want.” Chris pocketed them as Poe got a worried look on his face. "Maybe we should install one of those light-doorbell systems. Just in case."

"You don't have to do that just for me."

"Why not? This is your home, you should have what you need to make it work correctly." Chris nodded, because he could tell he wasn't going to win the argument. "You saw the main house when we walked in.  This is the path to my property, we try to keep visitors out of this area but you’ll see my kids use it quite a bit. I’m hoping you’ll feel up to dinner tonight?  I’d love for you to meet everyone.”

Chris nodded. He felt like he should be saying more, but he honestly didn’t know what to say.

Poe seemed content to keep going, though. He took Chris through the barn and stable, where Chris met the farm horses. “Rescues, too.” Chris looked at Poe in surprise, and the farmer smiled in response. “You’re not the first person to seek peace at Organa’s, and I doubt you’ll be the last. Me. Snap. Finn. Our kids. Hell, even my cat.” Poe laughed and Chris found himself joining him.

\-------------------

_“What the hell, man.” Even over the phone, Poe could tell Snap’s voice was teasing. “You dropped off the face of the Earth.”_

_“Yeah, well, less than honorable discharge and all that.”_

_“You know we all thought that was complete BS, right?”_

_Poe was silent for a second. He hadn’t heard from any of his old squadmates, not that he’d made himself easy to find. He hadn’t wanted to see their disappointment or worse, disgust. “I guess I didn’t know that.”_

_He heard Snap sigh over the connection. “Man, I tried to find you after I was- after I got sent home.” Poe could almost hear the unspoken ‘I needed you.’  “Then, bam, you show up in the Oregonian in an article about farming.”_

_“What are you doing reading the Oregonian?”_

_“Passing through. Looking for work. You know the deal.”_

_“I sure do, buddy. We should grab a bite to eat - are you anywhere near Salem?”_

_“I could be, man. Give me a day.”_

_“How about one better - I’ll come pick you up, and bring you back to the farm. Harvest season’s just picking up, if you’re not picky about where you get your pay.”_

_“Why the fuck would I be picky about a job?”_

_Poe laughed, then took down Snap’s info, feeling lighter than he had in ages._

_\--------------------------------_

They found Snap in one of the sheds, doing post-harvest, pre-winter prep. “For the most part, you’re going to work under Snap’s direction. He’s got more of a handle on the day-to-day labor needs, I’m more big-picture. That doesn’t mean you won’t see me in the field pulling weeds. Just means I get to do the shit work, like dealing with the bank, and the accountant, and the organic licensing board.”

Chris laughed at Poe’s definition of shit work, but Snap simply shook his head. “Better you than me, buddy,” he said mock-mournfully, slapping Poe on the shoulder. He turned to Chris. “Hey, you’re always welcome to eat with ‘Lis and Luis and I. I know how small and lonely that cottage can be.”

“Where is Elisa?” Poe asked.

“Picking up Luis from some abuela time.”

Poe grinned. "Oh, and how did abuela take the news?"

"Fucking ecstatic, I almost feel bad for Luis. He's going to have quite the stiff competition. My wife and I are expecting a daughter," he filled in for Chris. "She'll be the first granddaughter in the family, so quite a few people are excited." Snap's face went soft, and he smiled.

\-----------------

_“You should ask her out.” Poe tilted his head none-so-subtly to the waitress Snap had been making eyes at forever._

_“Dude, she’s got to be like, 21.”_

_“So? You’re only 29, it’s not like you’re old enough to be her dad or anything.”_

_“I feel old enough.” Snap watched her skirt around the tables deftly. His hand clenched as he saw someone who_ was _old enough to be her dad pat her on the butt, but she wasn’t a damsel in distress. She slapped at the hand with a stern look on her face, and Snap didn’t hear what she said to the guy, but the old coot went pink around the ears and looked at the floor. Good for her._

_She finally made her way to their table, then surprised Snap by taking a seat by Poe and looking him in the eyes. “You guys hiring out at Leia’s place?”_

_Poe sat up a little straighter. “We’re about to start, yeah.”_

_“I’m hardworking, dependable, and tired of putting up with sexist shit. I’ve got customer service experience. Put me in the market. Put me in the fields. Just get me out of here.”_

_Poe flicked a glance at Snap, and smiled. “Well, that’s a pretty good resume. When’s your next day off?”_

_“Tuesday.”_

_“Perfect. Bring a real resume to the farm Tuesday morning, 7am. We’ll do a little on-the-job interview.” Poe held out his hand. “Poe Dameron, farm manager. This is Snap Wexley, my right-hand man.”_

_The waitress held out her hand and gripped Poe’s firmly. “Elisa Cisneros. Thank you for the opportunity, Mr. Dameron.”_

_\--------------------------------_

“Cassie!” Poe called to a  woman, bent over and banging away at some piping.

She stood up straight, and Chris realized she was barely taller than the waterpipe wheel. “Hi, Cassandra Calrissian.” She held out a hand covered in a beat up leather glove.

He nodded his head and caught it, shaking. “Chris Lawrence.”

“When we crossed over the lane, we crossed onto Calrissian land. And Cassie has plans.”

Cassie’s face broke into a sunny smile. “Oh, big ones. We had a great season. I’ll be starting to experiment with brews this winter, and I’m hoping for a release party of our first bottling to coincide with the Fourth of July.”

“We like to share resources, so you might get asked to work here as well. And you’ll see Leia here a lot.”

“And Ben,” Cassie piped up.

“Right,” Poe said, his voice tighter than before, but not unfriendly. “Ben Solo, Leia’s son. He visits Cassie a lot.” Poe wiggled his eyebrows at Cassie, and she punched him in the arm. Chris winced - it looked like she packed a punch. He filed that away for the future.

\-------------------------

_“I’ve never enjoyed working the land, I’m not my mom,” Ben started, and Cassie rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand, dragging him outside._

_“Doesn’t matter. That’s what Poe likes to do. So you’re going to go hang out with him where he’s comfortable and maybe he’ll consent to being your friend again.”_

_“You shouldn’t be forcing us to be friends, Cass.”_

_“Oh my god, that mopey face. I can’t stand it.” She stood in front of him, so small yet the farthest thing from the definition of delicate Ben had ever seen. She was fierce when she grabbed into his shirt. “You owe Poe this.”_

_He looked away from her intense eyes. “I know.”_

_“Okay, then,” and she was handling him again, turning him around and pushing him across her yard, “go!”_

_He found Poe in the Market Building office, tugging on his curls over some paperwork. When he glanced up, Ben swore he saw relief in Poe’s eyes. “Ready for our play date?”_

_“If you’re busy…”_

_“Like Cassie or Finn would let me skip. Besides, I need a break from all of this.” He gestured to the paperwork. “How would you feel about going for a ride? You still remember how?” Poe’s voice was a challenge._

_“Of course.”_

_The silence as they readied BB-8 and R2 fell somewhere between awkward and companionable. Soon they were mounted, riding the trail along the irrigation ditch. With little prompting, Ben got Poe to explain what his plans for the land were._

_After a little while they paused, taking in the view. Ben took a deep breath, then just decided to go for it. “I know… I know it can’t even come close to being enough, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being a shitty teenager, an even shittier friend. I’m sorry for shunning you, and Leia, and rejecting everything. I’m sorry for attacking Finn.” Poe was silent, the look on his face thoughtful. “I’m glad the land is in good hands, in your hands. It was never mine.”_

_Poe’s look changed to sympathy. “It may not be yours but it’s here for you anyway. That’s what Organa’s is here for.”_

_Ben met his eyes. “I wish I’d understood that earlier.”_

_\------------------------------------_

Outside the main house, they found Leia rolling up hose for winter. After a brief introduction, Poe led Chris inside. He’d barely opened the door before a small blur was wrapped around his legs. “C’mere, buddy,” Poe grunted, lifting the blur - a toddler, Chris supposed - up to eye level and settling him on his hip. “Caleb, meet Chris, Chris, Caleb.” Apparently attacked by sudden shyness, Caleb buried his head in Poe’s chest, then peeked at Chris from behind a mop of brown curls. The barest smile showed on his face.

Chris hadn’t been around a lot of kids before. He was the youngest of two, and his sister hadn’t had any kids, before… before. “Um, hi.” He tried a little wave.

He heard muffled talking from behind him and turned to see an older woman coming down the hallway. She approached them, smiling, and Poe shifted Caleb over to her arms, kissing the woman on the cheek in the process. “My mother-in-law, Anne.”

“Nan!” Caleb corrected his father, and Anne and Poe laughed. Chris wondered if it was like this all the time, this perfect world. He felt like he was intruding in a place where everyone had found their happy endings. His heartbeat kicked up a bit and he took a deep breath, annoyed at himself.

“Ma’am.” He nodded, licking his lips, a nervous habit.

“Oh, how polite. Southern boy?” Anne was rocking Caleb on her hip, and the boy’s head lay on her shoulder.

“Yes, ma’am. Texas. Ranch outside Houston.”

“Wonderful! Atlanta, myself. So you’ll be used to the work, then?”

“Well, as much as I can, I suppose, though I’m not sure how many similarities there are between a cattle ranch and an organic farm, ma'am.”

Anne laughed, which made Caleb smile, which really made Chris feel even more like an intruder. “Well, Chris, you’re welcome to join Leia and I for dinner any night. Or tea, if you don’t mind hanging out with a couple of old ladies.”

Chris nodded, starting to feel overwhelmed. “Uh, ma’am, Poe,” he paused awkwardly before adding, “Caleb. I beg your pardon, but I need to…” Chris was struggling with keeping the grips on his Southern manners. The house felt stuffy, and he needed to get outside. He gestured to the door.

“Of course. I’ll be right out.” Poe opened the front door for him, and as Chris made his escape, he saw Poe lean down to kiss Caleb’s cheek.

He walked, and kept walking, and realized that was a benefit of the farm - there was a lot of open ground to cover.

\-------------

_“Well, you’re just gorgeous, aren’t you?” Poe ran his hand down the horse’s nose. The horse preened and shook her head, as if she knew exactly how gorgeous she was. Poe looked up above the stall. “Beatrice Belle, huh?”_

_“Hey, you’re not supposed to be back here!” The loud voice had the horse shying away from Poe, heading back in the stall as quickly as possible, and it broke Poe’s heart._

_“Yeah, and your horse isn’t supposed to be afraid of your voice, either.”_

_The man spat on the ground. “She ain’t worth nothing, anyway. Just what she deserves.”_

_Poe’s fist clenched, but he wouldn’t throw the punch. “Then you won’t mind selling her to me.”_

_“You’re one of them bleeding hearts, ain’t you? Fine,” he said, grinning malevolently, and named an outrageous price._

_Despite being shorter than the man, Poe crowded him against a wall. “Interesting price. You know what else is interesting?  I’ve got the sheriff department on speed dial. Think they’d find any evidence of animal abuse?”_

_The man’s eyes widened, then glared._

_Five minutes later, Poe pulled out his phone. “Yeah, I got her. Tell Snap to bring the horse trailer.”_

_\---------------------------------------_

Chris paused at the horse pasture, watching the beautiful white and brown horse - he thought he remembered Poe calling it BB-8 - munch on grass. He thought he was calm, but he jumped when Poe appeared suddenly on his bad side.

“Sorry, Chris. I’ll work on that,” Poe said apologetically, moving deftly to the good side.

Chris shook his head, waving the apology away.

“I’m not licensed and I know you have a therapist, I’ve just been taking some classes in anticipation of this program, but I’m here, Chris, if you need to talk right away.”

Chris rolled the idea around in his mind. It felt too soon. But being able to talk to Poe was the point of being here - he’d been ready to leave the hospital, but everyone had agreed he wasn’t ready to live on his own yet. This was a...a transition. He needed to trust Poe if he was going to get beyond the farm. “It’s too good. Everything here. It’s like...everything is too good for me.”

“I...you know I’ve seen your file, because you had to sign something to allow me to see it.”

Chris nodded, looking away from Poe. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell a lot of people about the…” He stopped himself from saying ‘incident.’ “About my attempt.”

“If your team didn’t think you could handle yourself here, they wouldn’t have recommended it, Chris. You deserve to be here.”

They lapsed into silence. When Chris glanced back at Poe, he realized the older man had a faraway look in his eyes, but soon shook his head to clear it. “Sorry. Memories.”

“Good ones, I hope,” Chris said quietly.

“Most of the time, Chris. Not always. It’s okay when they’re not, though, okay?”

He was surprised to hear Poe admit that, even with this idyllic life, he had bad thoughts, and said as much out loud.

“I don’t think it goes away. It gets so, so much better, Chris, I promise. But the trick is remembering it doesn’t go away.” When Chris continued to stare at the horse, Poe smiled at him. “Hey, you’re still with me, right? I promise, it’s going to work.”

“Y’all are so nice, I don’t know how it couldn’t.” He turned away from the fence, but then laid a hand on Poe’s arm. “Poe, I want you know, I’m not going to try again. It probably says that in my file. But I’m definite about that now. I may be practically deaf at 25, but I want to see 26. And 27. And 90.”

“And you know how you get there?”

“One day at a time,” Chris murmured.

\---------------------

_The Volkswagen bus rattled as Leia drove up the dirt road. A run down farm house and 10 acres. All hers._

_“You’re insane, Leia.”_

_Leia shoved the clutch into neutral and arched a brow across the seat at the stupidly charming man. “Nothing’s making you stay, Han.”_

_“We both know that’s a lie.”_

_“You can join Bach back on the road, or you can help me. Make a choice.” She put enough challenge in her voice to turn him on, not turn him away. She knew how to work Han._

_She got out of the van, striding toward the house. 10...9...8...7… she counted. At 6, she heard the slam of the door on the other side. She tossed a look over her shoulder, a small smile and an arched brow. Han shook his head in defeat, and followed her into the house._


	2. Dinner with the Smith-Damerons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before I reformatted the previous chapter, it included this dinner scene, and I just thought it was something cute that people might enjoy.

It hadn’t been a coincidence that everyone had invited Chris to eat with them - it had been designed as part of the program, Chris knew. He had the right, of course, to eat alone if he wanted, but he took up Poe on the offer that very first night.

Eating with the Smith-Damerons had been chaotic, but at least his ears muffled some of the sound as he watched the flurry of activity around the dinner table. As soon as he’d been let in the house - _“Oh, you don’t need to knock, Chris, it’s okay,” Finn had said, trying to keep Caleb’s dirty hands from touching his nice suit as he carried the boy_ \- and introduced to the youngest daughter, Amelia, she’d ushered him into the dining room to make sure he took the spot right next to her. “You don’t want to sit on the other side, Chris,” she whispered conspiratorially. “Caleb makes a mess.”

She sat beside him, then looked up at him expectantly. He had no idea what she was waiting for. “Uh. What grade are you in?”

“Second. My teacher’s name is Miss Shana. She said we could call her that even though it’s not her last name.”

“That’s...nice.” She was looking at him again. Nervously, Chris glanced around, looking for Finn or Poe. Instead, his gaze rested on a teenager, the one they’d told her about. “Uh, hi. I’m Chris.”

“Hey. Meghan,” she said, cautiously, staying at the edge of the room. “Amelia’s not the best at talking to strangers, but our Dads asked her to make you feel welcome.”

“Meggy, you weren’t supposed to tell. Maybe. Probably.” Amelia’s face scrunched up in adorable confusion, and Chris smiled.

“It’s okay, I reckoned you were the welcoming committee. I’m just not that good at talk.”

“Talk _ing,”_ Amelia corrected and Meghan rolled her eyes, sitting down at the end of the table and pulling out her phone.

“So, um, what do you learn in second grade?”

Amelia smiled at him. “Today we learned about the Oregon Trail. Did you know about that?”

“Yeah, I think I’ve heard of it.”

“Daddy said you came from Texas and that Texas is far away, does that mean you took the Oregon Trail to get here?”

It made Chris chuckle just a bit. “No, I came on a plane. A few years ago.” The disappointment on Amelia’s face made Chris laugh outright. “Sorry, kid.”

Chris saw Meghan glance up and smile, which meant he missed Finn coming into the dining area on his bad side in a rush, placing a much cleaner Caleb on the dining bench. “Jesus, what an evening to introduce you to the Smith-Damerons,” he said in Chris’ direction. “I’m so sorry!”

Chris’ eyes widened. “No problem. Is there something I can help with?” Chris started to push himself up from his chair.

“No, sit, sit,” Poe called as he carried in food - hamburger fixings, by the looks of it.

Finn and Poe settled on either side of Caleb, and despite having a toddler in between them who seemed to have six arms, Chris noticed something he’d seen when he came for the interview: the couple was always touching in some form or another. Right then, Finn was engaging Meghan in a conversation about school while Poe was leaned down, convincing Caleb to eat more hamburger, just two more bites if he wanted more fruit, and Finn’s hand was resting on Poe’s back. It was so obvious they were a unit, a matched pair.

Suddenly, the ringing was back, and everything around the table was muffled heavily. He took a bite of burger, trying not to show any signs of distress outwardly, but when his head came back up, he realized everyone around the table was staring at him, and then Poe was talking, and the ringing was still going on and Chris was setting his food down, preparing to push away from the table. Amelia's hand stopped him. She smiled, then popped a grape in her mouth. "You're okay," she mouthed. Or maybe, "It's okay." Chris wasn't great at lip reading yet.

The ringing lasted for another thirty seconds, and the sound came back in gradually, like someone had turned up the volume slowly. He took a deep breath. He felt the need to apologize, but could already hear his therapist in his ear, telling him he didn't need to. "Great burger," he said instead, indicating that he was back in the land of the hearing.

After dinner, when Poe was taking care of Caleb, Finn pulled Chris aside. "Can I ask a question about your hearing?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Chris shrugged.

"Poe said aides would help - is it a monetary issue?"

Chris snorted. "No, the government has plenty of money." Chris did a quick check to see if the girls were out of earshot. "It's a "VA can't get their heads out of their asses" issue."

Finn looked concerned. "Listen, I have some contacts... I'd like to help, even if it's just going in to the VA in my fancy lawyer suit and scaring them into action."

"That would be...amazing," Chris admitted, and Finn smiled at him, before shooing Amelia off for her insulin.

Later that night, as he settled into the strange bed, he realized that he'd enjoyed himself. And when he rotated through the households, he never felt like a guest. More like everyone always had room for one more family member at the table.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, comments and kudos are appreciated. Loved. Worshipped. ;)
> 
> I'm @animalasaysrauer on tumblr.
> 
> If you missed them, I started doing some ficlets exclusively for the Organa's Organics universe. They can be found here! There will be more! http://archiveofourown.org/works/6849610


End file.
